Library Jokes!!

Okay so I know that they’re corny but so what? Even library professionals need a laugh every now and then 😉

Library Jokes

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Rita.
Rita who?
Rita lot of good books!

What did one math book say to the other math book?
“Do you want to hear my problems?”

What do planets like to read?
Comet books.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a computer?
A lot of memory.

What part of a computer does an astronaut like best?
The space bar.

Why did the computer sneeze?
It had a virus.

Where do computers take their pets when they get sick?
To the Intervet.

How do librarians file melted marshmallows?
According to the Gooey (Dewey) Decimal System.

What did the spider do inside the library computer?
It made a Web page.

When the cold wind blows, what does a book do?
It puts on a book jacket.

What does Hagrid use on the 18th hole of the Hogwarts Golf Course?
His Harry Putter.

When the squirrels sneak into the library to use the computers, where do they go?
On the Inter-nut.

What do you call a campground for spiders?
A Web site.

Where are there more nobles than in the royal court?
In the library. All the books have titles.

When a knight read a book, who was always at his side?
His page.

What do you do if a dragon bites your library book?
Take the words right out of his mouth.

When spiders go on the Internet, what do they visit first?
Charlotte’s Web Site.

Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor?
Because she was in the non-friction section.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow better place to hang out during the winter than the library!

Why did the vampire check out a drawing book?
He wanted to learn how to draw blood.

Librarian: Knock knock.
Student: Who’s there?
Librarian: Winnie.
Student: Winnie who?
Librarian: Winnie you going to bring back that overdue book, hm?

What does a library book wear whenever it leaves the building?
A pager.

Why was the T-Rex afraid to go to the library?
Because her books were 60 million years overdue.

Why is that library book you’re trying to find always in the last place you look?
Because once you find it, you stop looking.

Why does the ghost come back to the library every day for more books?
Because she goes through them too quickly.

Why didn’t the skeleton come back to the library with an overdue book?
He was too gutless.

Why don’t elephants ever pay overdue fines?
They always bring their books back on time. An elephant never forgets!

What did the detective do when he didn’t believe the librarian’s story?
He booked her!

Do you know how many librarians it takes to change a light bulb?
No, but I know where you can look it up!

What king of medieval England was famous because he spent so many nights at his Round Table writing books?
King Author!

When a goose goes to the library, what books does she look for?
Peoplebumps books!

If you travel to Eastern Europe, why won’t you find any books in Prague’s public library?
They’re all “Czech”ed out!

How do you make a library float?
Get a million gallons of root beer, two scoops of ice cream, and add one library!

What building has the most stories?
The library, of course!

Where does a librarian sleep?
Between the covers.

When a librarian goes fishing, what goes on her hook?
A bookworm, of course.

What does a librarian eat dinner from?
A bookplate.

What does the mummy do when he goes to the library?
He gets all wrapped up in a good book.

The above jokes were taken from this website: http://www.multnomah.lib.or.us/lib/kids/jokeansw.html